> _Shadow is the best disinfectant._ > -Anonymous ## Social Security (or: SS) ![[password-manager-is-here-to-help.png]] ![[security-theres-no-security-like-food-security.png]] ![[safe-and-secure.png]] ![[security-is-here-to-help.png]] ![[security-your-privacy-is-our-data.png]] ![[security-sectigo.png]] ![[security-trustpilot-so-many-reviews.png]] ## Your password ❌ Must have at least 1 lowercase letter ❌ Must have at least 1 uppercase letter ❌ Must have at least 1 arabic numeral ❌ Must have at least 1 chinese numeral ❌ Must have at least 1 greek letter numeral ❌ Must be between 7 and 144 characters ❌ Must include one of the following special characters: `_@~!#$^*+-=|\/(){}[].:` ❌ Must not contain any other special characters beside those listed above ❌ Must not contain more than 2 repeating characters ❌ Must not contain your email address ❌ Must not contain 9 or more consecutive numbers ❌ Must not contain spaces ❌ Must not contain your username ❌ Must not contain your social security number ❌ Must not contain your employer identification number ❌ Must not contain the name of your past, present or future pets ❌ Must not contain the name of your past, present or future children ❌ Must not contain the name of your past, present or future spouses ❌ Must not contain the name of your past, present or future relatives ❌ Must not contain the name of your past, present or future interests ❌ Must not contain the name of your favorite book, film, sport, or game ❌ Must not contain the name of your favorite nation or legally defined region ❌ Must not contain the name of your current religion or its prophets ❌ Must not contain the name of your current religious denomination ❌ Must not contain your high school or its mascot ❌ Must not contain your high school or its mascot ❌ Must not contain the name of any school you attended or applied to ❌ Must not contain the name of your employer, former employer, or future employer ❌ Must not contain the name of your job title, aspirational job title, or a job title for which you would settle ❌ Must not contain the name of your hometown, birthplace, or place from which you have purchased souvenirs or commemorative memorabilia ❌ Must not contain the name of any street you have lived on or any apartment complex you have lived in ❌ Must not contain your phone number, area code, or other uniquely identifying numeral for use in telephony ❌ Must not contain your date of birth, current age, or any past or future ages ❌ Must not contain your astrological sign either as an ASCII string or a Unicode symbol ❌ Must not contain your blood type, MBTI type, or Hogwarts house ❌ Must not contain the name of your favorite food, least favorite food, or food you ate in recent memory ❌ Must not contain the name of any allergy, sensitivity, or self-diagnosed condition ❌ Must not contain the name of your favorite color or hue ❌ Must not contain the name of any operating system you have used willingly or unwillingly ❌ Must not contain the name of any programming language that is compiled to machine code ❌ Must not contain the name of any framework or third-party library that is installed on the machine ❌ Must not contain the name of any database ❌ Must not contain the name of any ttf or otf font ❌ Must not contain the word “password” or its equivalents in any extant Indo-European language ❌ Must not contain the word “password” or its equivalents in any extant Sino-Tibetan language ❌ Must not contain the word “password” or its equivalents in any extant Afro-Asiatic language ❌ Must not contain words meaning “secure,” “strong,” or “correct” ❌ Must not contain any words found in the Dictionary of the Standard Modern Dialect of Distributed Colloquial Vernacular ❌ Must not contain repeated characters at a distance of less than 3 ❌ Must not contain adjacent characters of Hamming distance less than 3 ❌ Must not contain patterns unless the pattern is provably Martin-Löf randomness ❌ Must not contain randomness drawn from /dev/random or /dev/urandom ❌ Must not contain entropy that appears insufficient ❌ Must not contain entropy that appears thermodynamic ❌ Must not contain palindromes, near-palindromes, or emotionally symmetrical strings ❌ Must not contain keyboard walks, mouse paths, or controller button combos ❌ Must not contain lyrics, poems, slogans, or chants ❌ Must not contain prostitution, lest the land fall to whoredom and become full of wickedness. ❌ Must not contain references to time, including days of the week or eras ❌ Must not contain references to space or to planetary objects, official or deprecated ❌ Must not contain references to any tents or portable canopy or pavilion except the Tabernacle ❌ Must not contain references to pure or applied mathematics ❌ Must not contain references to propositional or predicate logic or to formal arithmetic ❌ Must not contain references to computing devices, organical or _in silico_ ❌ Must not contain the word “password” or its equivalents in Atbash (אתב״ש),[^1] Albam (אלב״ם),[^2] Avgad (אבג״ד),[^3] or any other of the systems of _ḥillufei otiyyot_ (חילופי אותיות)[^4] known in either Kabbalah or rabbinic Hebrew letter-mysticism ❌ Must be known only to you ❌ Must be known to the system ❌ Must be verified by a third party ❌ Must not be disclosed to any third party ❌ Follow these requirements, and be secured in a pillar of cloud by day, and a pillar of fire at night ❌ Break these requirements, and be cast into the everlasting torment of shadow / etc. ![[oops-were-sorry-for-the-security.png]] --- _Powered by P ® i.e., st.ly_ [^1]: The "Alpha-Omega" cipher. [^2]: Rot13. [^3]: Rot1. [^4]: Lit. "letter substitutions."