The Problem of When. (noun). The problem of figuring out which people in a public space are open to meeting someone new at this particular moment. --- We call this the problem of _when_ because the willingess to meet someone new is not a stable feature of a given individual for all time. This attribute is a function of time, and it is not unusual for it to change several times per day. A given person may be busy, at 9:00am on a laptop at Starbucks not wanting to be interrupted, and the same person might feel lonely and willing to meet someone at the local bar later that same afternoon. Further, this willingness (or its absence) is invisible. It is an [[Implicit Attribute]] of every person, and we cannot detect it just by looking at someone. As such, this is an example of an [[Identification Problem]]. ## Why it's harder now than in past generations The existence of laptops and phones makes this identification problem harder to solve now than it was in past generations. In the past, someone sitting alone at a coffee shop or bar was very likely to be willing to meet someone new. That same person now has many more alternatives competing for their attention, and each such alternative may be higher in their invisible list of priorities than meeting someone new. In the past, someone sitting alone at a coffee shop or bar might be reading a book, or writing in a notebook. Now, they may be on their laptop trying to get work done on a tight deadline. They might be on their phone having a heated argument with a recent ex. Or they may simply be scrolling through a social media feed, an activity that is measurably more addictive than the distractions available in the past. Many people intuitively feel that the existence of new technology has made meeting new people in real life harder. We believe this is why. The problem of when is now much harder to solve, and this difficulty extends equally to every physical location that claims to be a "Third Place." Fleeting physical locations are often created in an attempt to solve this problem, for example meetup groups designed for meeting new friends, singles mixers, speed dating, and other such events. However, there appear to be no _stable physical locations_ designed to solve this problem, as a structural matter, by virtue of their design, for example by creating a business that is designed to be a [[Social Schelling Point]]. ## The Imperceptibility of Bothering Lacking such locations, a solution to this problem is left to each individual. ![[afraid-of-bothering-people-1.png]] Without guidance, many apparently social individuals simply give up. ![[afraid-of-bothering-people-2.png]] In such cases, the fundamental human desire to meet new people in the physical world is sacrificed to the reasonable "desire not to bother them." ![[afraid-of-bothering-people-3.png]] These days, most humans would prefer not to bother people. ![[afraid-of-bothering-people-4.png]] So single women have no idea what to do. ![[where-to-find-people-49.png]] ![[where-to-find-people-40.png]] And single men seem pretty lost too. ![[where-to-find-people-36.png]] Same deal with people who are just looking for friends. ![[where-to-find-people-47.png]] Pardon our language, but this is pretty fucking dumb. We're going to solve this problem, because it's absurdly easy to do. And for some reason solving it is something no one else is trying to do.