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LEAVING MARX
============
In the game, as in mathematics, you will come to see
the truth only when you stop asking what a thing is,
and begin asking instead: how does it behave?
~Nth Stair, internal Handbook.
(Narrator, or Transcriptionist, or Fuck It I Don't Care You Can Call Me
Whatever ha, I'm New Here, I Just Have To Get This Down Quick For Posterity
(Or At Very Least For Myself) Before I Forget It And/Or Before My Dumb Body
Gives Out So I Can Sleep And Wake Up Because I Already Can't Wait To Do More
Of This Tomorrow: Okay, the stuff that follows is a paraphrased
way-too-rushedly-written transcript of part of that meeting from like 2 or 3
days ago... though it may have been today... what day is it again?)
That Really Charming Black Guy, Whose Real Name I Still Need To Learn: I hate
the word african american. It's a symbol of everything that's gone wrong since
MLK. Call me whatever you want. I'm confident enough in my intelligence I can
accept any damn label. Give me the worst you got. What kind of scientist am I
gonna be if I'm afraid of some damn words. I miss old black rights people.
Fredrick Douglas and all them. That was a fight. There's real fights today too
but not where everybody's fighting at. I got interested in economics because I
wanted to know why some people had money and other people didn't. I read Hayek
and von Mises and I was a hard line Austrian for awhile but these days I don't
even fucking care about all that. The petty fights that don't end. Like macro
shit, fuck it. It's all voodoo on both sides. And I can still get into some
good fights about Keynes but I don't get mad at the NeoKeynesians like I used
to. These days I just wish more people would learn some shit before they start
talking like they know things better than you. Did you know Adam Smith probably
hated businessmen more than Karl Marx did? And they didn't disagree on as much
as people think. I think the two of them would've had less to argue about
between themselves on almost any damn topic than either of them would have in
common with all the bullshit my family says about econ around the dinner table.
My fuckin uncle called me an uncle Tom the other day (laughs, looking half
proud and half sad). My *uncle*. Can't make this shit up. Why? Cuz he was
talkin about his landlord and I brought up some data he didn't like about rent
control. He didn't even let me explain. Just told me not to talk back and we
got all quiet and changed the subject. Later he comes up to me and says he's
worried about these things I've been reading. I just told him whatever pop I
love you and said I'd be happy to be called an uncle Tom if by Tom he meant Tom
Sowell. He said he didn't know what I meant. But he smiled like he knew we
weren't fighting. Gonna show him some old Sowell this Sunday after church and
try to bring him to the dark side, hah.
(Narrator: Black Guy and [Person He Was Sitting Next To] make a series of "get
em" type noises and grab hands, in that awkward way men do when they agree
really hard but they're not quite sure whether to hi-five or hug.)
That Really Attractive Sorta-Tomboyish Girl With The Tinted Circle Glasses:
(Biting her lip) Fuckin' capitalist nigger.
(Narrator: The room gets like slightly more quiet but not much.)
Black Guy: (Smiling at Glasses Girl) Is what, your favorite activity?
Newcomer: (To Founder, confused) What??
Founder: (To Newcomer, smiling) They're dating.
(Narrator: Newcomer smiles cautiously, trying to figure out what just happened
and whether it's okay.)
Founder: (To the room, at first, and then to that guy) Oh, that reminds me.
We've never really talked much about economics in here yet. Wanna test your
pitch on us as an excuse to give some of the newcomers a first exposure to the
field? Might be a good way to see what parts people think are more or less
convincing so you can hone it before you try to convert your uncle or whatever.
Black Guy: Oh shit, absolutely.
(Narrator: Black guy gets out a laptop and starts rummaging through the
internet looking for what I can only assume is an old video or something.)
Newcomer: (To Hot Circle Glasses Girl) So, you two are together?
Circle Glasses: (Blushing a fucking lot all of a sudden) Hehe (and giggling)
yeah.
Newcomer: Does he ever try to convert you? Like, not "convert" really, but just
whatever he's trying to do with this uncle situation?
Circle Glasses: Hah, yeah, he's wearing me down. I still love the solidarity
part of Marxism, but I'm not really a proper Marxist anymore. Still feels dirty
to say I'm a "capitalist" though. In more ways than one. We had a night where
he kicked my ass in an argument about some topic, I think it was minimum wage
or something about workers rights, and he kept saying "well then you're a
capitalist," and I was like look, I said I agreed with you, I didn't say I was
a capitalist. And he was like "why are you so afraid of this word?" And I was
like "I don't know, nigger." And he just smiled all calm and confident and said
"I don't know why you're so scared of it either." (Circle Glasses sighs and
smiles) God that was so hot. So I agreed he could call me a capitalist, but no
one else can. And I give him a hard time with labels since he kinda took the
label that mattered most to me away from me, but I didn't really need the
label. Marxism I mean. I just sort of liked the community mindset and the
solidarity it stood for. And I've got that now more than I ever did back then.
Plus he's so fucking hot when he nerds-out about the Austrians. Who knew I'd
ever end up with racial slurs and class-conflict jargon as among my biggest
turn ons? I swear, it's like one of those dumb Pavlov's dog-ish bell things
except really fucked up. Once, early on, like once we'd started talking
one-on-one but before we'd ever had sex or anything, we were sort of arguing
over text and he just got kinda flirty-frustrated and randomly said "girl i'ma
leave marx on you later," and we both thought it was so damn retarded and funny
we've been talking like that ever since. Just like in our private couple
language, you know how couples do. I think this place has ruined me for the
real world. In a nice way, I mean. A wonderful way. It's hard to explain this
sort of thing to people on the outside. Anyways, welcome to Stonewall. Always
good to see a new face around here.
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