Bible. (noun). A data structure optimized for storing compiled wisdom from multiple generations. Often contained in small books, named after people we admire. These people need not have been involved in the writing process. Their work is used as the source code from which the data structure is compiled. While compilation is necessary, it is not sufficient. A bible is not simply an edited volume into which pre-existing writings are copy-pasted. Writing a bible takes place in two stages: 0. compilation 1. assembly 2. runtime The attentive reader will note that bibles frequently appear to contradict themselves. This is intentional, though not every reader is guaranteed to get every [joke](https://martinfowler.com/bliki/TwoHardThings.html). ## Beginnings Every bible must start somewhere. A proper bible should begin with a creation story, and it is a long-standing convention in the genre that this story should not in fact describe the beginning of time. Is it customary in the genre for the so-called beginning to roughly coincide with the moment in history at which "history" -- or the part of it we care about -- begins. Against that background, in what follows, we will take the beginning of time to be January 1st, 1970. ![[unix-time-begin.png]] ## Middle The bible format enjoys certain freedoms not possessed by other genres. Unlike other nonfiction formats: - apocryphal quotes are permitted - doctoring of quotes is permitted - semi-fictional or even entirely fictional sections may be packaged as nonfiction - narrative structure can be added to historical events to convey important lessons - as a matter of custom, the fans and readers of the volumes thus produced default to defending all of the above practices against criticism, and steelmanning the best case for the collected volume thus produced Unlike other genres, the fictional sections need not be marked as such. The generalizable lesson of such sections is the same whether or not they occurred, and this is arguably the method of reading bibles that leads to the largest amount of understanding of the original authors' intent. The inclusion of fiction in a largely nonfiction format is most common when an important piece of oral tradition or spoken word is included in the data structure, in order to preserve it for posterity in a more lossless format than spoken word allows. Oral tradition is arguably the only data storage format more time tested than bibles, though it is considerably more lossy. The same is true in [[Bryan Cantrill - Oral Tradition in Software Engineering|our culture]]. Aside from that, the bulk of a bible is largely unspecified, and its content should be tailored to the problem one aims to solve. ## Endings It is also customary for each bible to contain an eschatology: an apocalypse story that describes the end of time. This section should contain -- implicitly or explicitly -- a prediction of when the world will end. For a bible to be legitimate, this prediction must be false. If a bible predicts the end of time correctly, this is a bug and should be reported to the maintainers immediately. Fortunately, no known instances of this bug have been found. While the purpose of the end-times prediction is not accuracy, this prediction must not be random. Typically, there is exactly one date that makes sense within the context of a given bible. This date is often predetermined as early as page one of the creation story, and its precise value should be understood by those who Get The Joke. Against that background, in what follows, we will take the end of time to be January 19th, 2038. ![[unix-time-end.png]] ## Frequently Asked Questions Q: When is a bible the right data structure for my problem? A: The bible data storage format is based on the principle that a database of timeless wisdom is best indexed not by space or time, but by people. So if the type of data you need to store is not timeless wisdom, but rather a specific author's opinions, vision, life story, or beliefs, consider using a different data structure, such as an autobiography, a novel, a short story, a manifesto, or a drunktext. Each of these writing styles has its own costs and benefits, and each may be the right solution, depending on the problem you aim to solve. --- Q: Who the hell are you people? A: Glad you asked. We're the [[Authors]].