--- Me: _(Trying to explain democracy to a bunch of bears.)_ Bears: So basically it's about honey? Me: NO IT'S NOT ABOUT HONEY!! --- I'm obsessed with the bible, but I can't talk about it with anyone. I don't mean I can't FIND people willing to talk about it. I mean the willing aren't able and the able aren't willing. And there's often more hope for the latter. Because when it comes to the bible, everyone is either: 1. a secular person who doesn't give the bible enough credit and attention, or 2. bears who think the whole thing is about honey. I prefer the bears. I myself am not a bear. But my family and I moved from California to Texas because I prefer bear states over non-bear states. The bears build better societies, better communities (especially if you plan on raising kids), and they generally have a healthier approach to living in the crazy modern world we all now live in than non-bears. The bears are of course the believers. Believers in Judiasm, Christianity, Islam, or any form of religious belief that's sincerely held. I say this to put the rest of the message in context. Because even though I'm very much (in many ways) on Team Bear, I've spent the past decade confused by a strange fact. A fact that keeps smacking me in the face, despite my sincere desire to somehow figure out how I'm just wrong or misunderstanding. I want to be wrong about this. Hopefully I am wrong. But in practice, I keep running into this damn annoying fact. > _The people most unable to talk about the bible are bears._ And I'm hoping some of you might help me disprove it. Let's clarify, because I'm not making the usual tiresome unbeliever point. I don't mean believers are less capable of reading the bible skeptically, or rationally, or objectively, or any of those false and unfair standards. I don't know what those words mean. I'm also not making a statement that I'm "right" while some other group of people are "wrong." About anything. This isn't about who's right and wrong about stuff. And I have no problem with "faith" of any form. This isn't about that. I also don't mean believers are more dogmatic or closed minded than atheists. (The decade of woke proved that claim wrong by a mile.) Remember: I prefer the bears. I've chosen the term "unable" with care. Because when I seek out believers and try to talk about the bible, they're always welcoming and open and excited. They're humble and self-aware. They're perfectly able to confront uncertainty and doubt. So what exactly am I complaining about? > _The Complaint: In my experience thus far, when I talk to believers about an approach that I sincerely believe could convert a billion atheists, turning former bible haters into lifelong bible lovers, in every case so far (though I hope to see this change in the future) the believer across from me turns out to be less interested in converting the billion atheists from bible haters to bible lovers, and more interested in talking to me about honey._ Honey is of course god. Or God or Yahweh or Elohim or El Shaddai or Adonai or Jehovah or יהוה or θεός or whatever your favorite word is among the many the bible uses (or doesn't) in the original languages or your favorite translation. The point I want to convey to the bears is that their book is more important and more general than even they realize, and if they can sit through some conversations and focus -- and I mean actually focus like we're in math class and not church -- then we might have a solid chance to convert (let's be less ambitious and more realistic this time) hundreds, thousands, or millions of bible haters to become intense bible lovers from now until they die. Because I'm convinced of one thing absolutely for sure: > Even if there isn't a god, the bible is the goddamn word of god. > It's maybe the most well written book of all time. Also the funniest. > Almost no one really gets this. > I can't convince a person to believe in God. > That's not my job or my calling. > But goddamn I can convert a bible hater to a bible lover. > And maybe once we've done that, the more devout can take it from there. I know that doesn't make sense yet. Suspend disbelief for a bit. Let's just imagine, for the sake of argument, that the above claim is true. 1. Supposing it's true that the devout are indeed missing out. 2. Supposing there's some low-hanging-fruit of millions of converts. 3. Not converts to "what I believe." 4. Converts to hundreds of denominations of Christianity and Judaism. 5. But converts from the current state of hating or frowning upon the bible, to something else that involves thinking the bible is awesome. Let's suppose that's true. Did you suppose it? Ok good. If that's true, we can now finally agree that it's time for an alliance. A holy alliance between unbelievers and bears, an alliance that begins by adopting a common and principled plan of attack. ### Plan of Attack: Principle #1 1. In order to convert the countless untapped souls, during the first step where we convince them to stop hating the bible and to love it instead, it is imperative that we speak to the potential convert in their language, and their language -- at the beginning -- is the language of unbelief. It is therefore imperative, in the common interest of both unbelievers and bears, that in phase 1 we stay focused and _stop talking about honey._ Stop. Talking. About. Honey. Not forever. Just at the start. Because once a new convert no longer hates the bible but loves it, the believers might find it's easier to bring them the rest of the way. You'd think it wouldn't be hard to find some believers who'd be down to autistically nerd out about the bible. They think they are. But once we start, all they can talk about is honey. Here we face a much harder problem than the one with which we began. --- Me: (Trying to explain Winnie the Pooh to a bunch of bears.) Bears: So basically it's all about honey? Me: No. Bears: _(Squinting)_ Me: I mean sure. It's in there. But it's not about that. Bears: Winnie the Pooh is a work of Honey, which is created by bees and given to bears. Winnie the Pooh was created in the mind of Christ, Offer Robin, as it says in the text. 🍯 Me: Ok I'm not saying you're not wrong. Honey's everywhere in this book. Hell, the main character's life revolves around honey. His every craving is a craving for honey. Every struggle is a struggle for honey. Every day. Every night. Even in dreams. It's his god. Bears: Let us pray. Dear honey, thank you for-- Me: (Waits patiently.) Bears: In the name of Christ... Offer Robin... once a boy now Amen. _(Narrator: A devout silence elapses.)_ Me: Ok so! Let's talk about A. A. Milne? Bears: Who's A. A. Milne? Me: He's the author. Bears: Of what? Me: Winnie the Pooh. Bears: _(Tilts head.)_ Me: Y'know the Documentary Hypothesis? Bears: I think there was a lecture or two about it in seminary. Me: What did they say? Bears: I don't remember. Something about that Milne guy. Me: Great! That's enough to get started. Bears: Started on what? Me: Ok so, that Milne guy. He _wrote_ Winnie the Pooh. Bears: _(Making a "these berries have gone bad" face)_ Me: The book. Bears: Like wrote it as a biography? Me: Maybe! It's possible he based it on a real bear. Actually I think he did. It was for his son, but there was also a real bear at one point. Long story. But HE wrote Winnie the Pooh. And it's way better than people realize. Bears: Honey? That's certainly true. Dear Hone一 Me: No no, the book. The book is way better than people realize. Bears: You mean there's hidden honey we haven't found yet? Me: No it's good for other reasons. Bears: I think that if you study the book carefully, you'll eventually understand the word of honey. Me: That's fine, I'm not criticizing honey. I'm saying there's a reason to love the book that has nothing to do with that. Something that's also good. And also in the book. Bears: You keep talking about this hidden honey. Me: I never said hidden honey. Bears: I'm getting tired. Let's talk in the morning. --- _(Narrator: Time passes.)_ --- Bears: ![[honey-2.jpg]] Me: Good morning bears. Bears: So, where did we leave off?