_(Narrator: The Scene: Our protagonist sits in the parking lot of a phone repair store. He has recently learned that 0% of the people who work at (or even run) these stores know anything about phones. This can only be partially blamed on the fact that they're retarded. The other half of the explanation appears to be that no one knows how phones work, except a handful of people who consult for police departments and intelligence agencies. For example, it's apparently impossible to take a dead phone apart, remove the sdcard or other persistent storage medium, insert it into any device that exists in reality, mount it, and rsync the data off like a human being. There appear to be countless real and made up reasons why this is somewhere between difficult and impossible, though I can only verify the retarded wrongness of about 80% of the reasons I've heard from professional phone people. The other 20%, I'm assuming are true and sensible, for the sake of argument. But this book isn't about that. This book is about the bible. And programming. We now continue with our regularly scheduled programming.)_